Alla ricerca delle coccole perdute
Get to know yourself (and couples) better
Giulio Cesare Giacobbe is a psychologist and writer, as well as the founder of developmental psychology theory. He became known for the simple and direct style of his books, used here in an easy-to-follow explanation of the impact that evolution has had on people’s personalities, highlighting their good qualities and limitations. Each one of us has three personalities – that of a child, a parent, and an adult. If they are properly developed, they allow us to enjoy healthy and fulfilling relationships with those around us. If not properly developed, on the other hand, they result in neurosis and other issues. In Alla ricerca delle coccole perdute the author’s explanation of the characteristics of each personality type and the problems that they may run into when they do not follow a linear development, drawing comparisons between the different types of personality and showing us how to solve any problems caused by neurosis. He then goes on to outline an identikit for the ideal personality – the fourth personality, emulating that of the enlightened Buddha, who accepts reality as it is, with wisdom and awareness.
Many useful tips to:
- Gain a better understanding of yourself and the ideal way to develop your personality.
- Understand how to interact with those around you in a more harmonious way.
- Learn, accept, and improve couple dynamics.
We each have three personalities that need to be developed: child, adult, and parent
Each of us has three different personalities, which are automatically "activated", depending on the context and the people with whom we are dealing: different situations involve different kinds of interactions.
Known as natural personalities, we each develop the personalities of a child, an adult, and a parent: each of them corresponds to the psychological and biological development that we gradually undergo, as a result of interactions with our surrounding environment. Obviously, this development is not linear, which is why anxiety-depressive neurosis can occur: in Western society, adults remain "children" for longer, and do not learn to fully cope with adulthood, to survive, and to fight for what they want, as there is no longer a need for it.
When we look to the animal world, however, we can find many similarities when it comes to the evolutionary stages that we go through. The three personalities are each characterised by a different attitude: the child, like a puppy, is not self-sufficient, the adult is self-sufficient, and the parent is dedicated to their offspring. Each of the three personalities also has a corresponding behaviour that defines it: the child asks, the adult takes, and the parent gives.
The pup experiences constant stress and fear as a result of their dependence on the parent and their inability to look after themselves, while the adult animal only experiences fear when its life is truly in danger or its territory is threatened. The parent, on the other hand, is able to overcome fear and is self-confident, as they are entirely devoted to ensuring the well-being of their offspring.
Regression may occur at any given time throughout a person's existence, which will result in them shifting among the three phases, each of which has a corresponding behavioural pattern that the individual can assume at any given time throughout their existence. Compared to animals, in which these behavioural patterns are activated spontaneously, this process is different in humans, in whom the cerebral neocortex plays an essential role, when we include the variable of affection to human behaviour.
The key ideas of "Alla ricerca delle coccole perdute"
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