Alla ricerca delle coccole perdute

Giulio Cesare Giacobbe

Alla ricerca delle coccole perdute



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Giulio Cesare Giacobbe is a psychologist and writer, as well as the founder of developmental psychology theory. He became known for the simple and direct style of his books, used here in an easy-to-follow explanation of the impact that evolution has had on people’s personalities,  highlighting their good qualities and limitations. Each one of us has three personalities – that of a child, a parent, and an adult. If they are properly developed, they allow us to enjoy healthy and fulfilling relationships with those around us. If not properly developed, on the other hand, they result in neurosis and other issues. In Alla ricerca delle coccole perdute the author’s explanation of the characteristics of each personality type and the problems that they may run into when they do not follow a linear development, drawing comparisons between the different types of personality and showing us how to solve any problems caused by neurosis. He then goes on to outline an identikit for the ideal personality – the fourth personality, emulating that of the enlightened Buddha, who accepts reality as it is, with wisdom and awareness. 

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Analysis and key concepts


We each have three personalities that need to be developed: child, adult, and parent


Children are dependant on their parents, possessive, and jealous, but they know how to ask for help and play in harmony


The adult has earned their space and their freedom, but they are selfish and incapable of altruism


The parent's personality is the only one who knows how to love, but it can be biased


Natural psychological development requires passing through every phase of each of the personalities


The development of the adult personality occurs as a result of having gone through the necessary phases, and is based on detachment and loneliness


Dedication helps structure the parental personality


Neuroses occur when the adult and parental personality is not structured


Neurosis is the inability to relate to situations with the right attitude


The neurotic child, adult, or parent is confined to the attitudes of the phase they are in


Neurosis and relationships: the only healthy couple is one formed by people who have undergone all of the necessary developmental stages


The fourth personality is that of the enlightened and self-aware Buddha




Take-home message

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Many useful tips to:

  • Gain a better understanding of yourself and the ideal way to develop your personality.
  • Understand how to interact with those around you in a more harmonious way.
  • Learn, accept, and improve couple dynamics.

Giulio Cesare Giacobbe is both a writer and psychologist. Known for his informative writing, he is the author of numerous manuals which share his direct and clear approach to psychology, such as How to Become a Buddha in Five Weeks and The Secret to Happiness. He founded the School of Developmental Psychology, where he practices the theory of developmental psychology, which he himself created, and which focuses on the study of how human personalities have evolved and how they are formed.

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