Boys & Sex

Peggy Orenstein

Boys & Sex

22min

22min

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We often look at young boys as if they were complete strangers, who behave in ways that we simply cannot understand. This is especially true when we speak about sexuality, feelings, and relationships with the opposite sex. The way in which our male children behave is the result of two main factors: on the one hand, there is our society, with its stereotypes, roles, expectations, and rules, and on the other hand, the challenges of the fast-evolving modern age. As boys begin to explore interpersonal relationships, they have to come face to face with a complex and unfamiliar world: their peers become increasingly distant, pornography is everywhere, and overwhelming, the other sex becomes a complete mystery, and they have to hide their feelings and shut down their emotions. The only solution is education, because growing up is hard, and what these boys need is someone who can guide them down the right path.

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Analysis and key concepts

01.

Boys’ emotional and sexual development is highly complex and difficult to navigate

02.

Many boys become members of what the author calls ‘Dick School’

03.

There are many ways to be a girl, but very few ways to be a boy

04.

Boys don’t mind being boys, as long as it’s all fun and games

05.

Masculinity affects girls and emotions

06.

Kids today have unprecedented access to pornography

07.

We need a more modern and liberal approach to sex education

08.

The ‘hookup’ culture

09.

The complex role of the ‘good guy’

10.

Every boy experiences conflict between his sexuality and feelings

11.

The only solution is education

12.

Quotes

13.

Take-home message

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Many useful tips to:

  • Understand what goes on inside young boys’ heads (and bodies) as they approach sex and love.
  • Learn to read boys’ behaviour objectively and with empathy.
  • Talk honestly and openly with our sons.
  • Raise better men, better human beings.

Born in 1961 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Peggy Orenstein is an American writer, journalist, and feminist activist. She graduated from Yale University with a degree in English literature, and began her career as a journalist writing for The New Yorker, The New York Times, Harper's Bazaar, and many other newspapers and magazines. In her books she explores issues of gender and sexuality, and some of her best-selling titles include Cinderella Ate My Daughter, and Girls & Sex. She lectures on feminist activism all over the world, and in 2019, she launched the podcast The Longest Shortest Time, which explores a multitude of concepts relating to parenting, sexuality, and childhood.

Publishing house:

Harper Paperbacks

Year:

2021

Pages:

304

ISBN:

978-0062666987