Boys & Sex

Sexuality, emotional intimacy, love, and relationships have been increasingly called into question over recent years. New forms of media, the internet, social networks, and especially the #MeToo movement have dissected, criticised, and discussed the issues more than ever before.

Many parents used to count themselves lucky if they had a son rather than a daughter, which just demonstrated just how much girls were, and still are, at a disadvantage. The #MeToo movement and the increased awareness it has created, however, has cast doubt on this way of thinking, and parents are now beginning to realise that raising a boy is just as challenging and delicate as raising a girl. As parents of male children, our objective should not only be to give them the tools to cope with life, but also to raise ‘good men’.

This new awareness often has to fight against the traditional mentality of non-dialogue, of an ineffective and superficial approach to sex, and of various forms of silence. No one really tells boys what it means to be a good person. Consent, for instance, is a widely discussed issue at the moment, but no one adequately explains this concept to boys. What’s more, their voices are never heard: what do boys think about it all? How does it make them feel?

All young people really want is to be able to talk about it, to be able to connect, to have open conversations about sex, share their thoughts, and to understand. They especially want to talk about their feelings, but they need to have a safe space in which to do so. It is often challenging to talk honestly with boys about love, emotions, and sex, but when they open up to us, it means that they trust us enough to express their feelings.