All love stories are complicated in their own way. Every couple, sooner or later, goes through low points or cycles of crisis where the passion has faded and things don't seem to be working as well as they once did. There are some couples who were simply incredibly lucky to find the perfect match, but these couples are a very small minority, and we can't hope that a partner like that will just fall from the sky. On the contrary, 99% of us need to roll up our sleeves, put in the work, and build love day by day.
Beyond commitment, building a lasting love requires talking. Dialogue is essential — in a couple, everything revolves around dialogue, because dialogue is the relationship itself, conversations are the relationship itself. There is also a purely physical connection, but that's not enough. The way we interact, understand each other, and fit together as human beings is through words. It is above all thanks to the depth of our conversations that we differ from all other animals and have been able to evolve to this level.
From this perspective, the first problem is that most of us are used to talking AT the other person rather than WITH them. This way, we end up listening only to respond, and there is no real communication. Instead, we need to talk together — not one against the other.
The second problem is that people are incapable of having courageous conversations, or at least they're afraid to. Many of us might not say what we truly think, or we get close to the truth but still hold something back. This is a huge problem, because if a conversation doesn't start from a foundation of truth, you'll never be able to get to the heart of things and find the best solution to a problem.
When we speak, we should never be cautious about what we say — we should instead be concerned with being truthful. We should only be careful about HOW we say something, and we'll come back to that later, but not about WHAT we say. The fear of hurting someone is very often an excuse for our own cowardice. Authenticity is not something you have — it's something you choose. And if after many attempts at having honest conversations you still don't get the desired results, perhaps because the other person simply isn't capable of listening and having a proper conversation, then you know that person is not the right one. A relationship, after all, can only work well if both people involved are capable of genuine dialogue.
