12min
Human beings share an innate desire to give and receive true love. Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh offers reflections, advice, and meditation exercises, and shows us how to learn to love and accept ourselves, how to open our hearts to acceptance, and how to start really listening.
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Analysis and key concepts
01.
It is easy to recognise authentic love, as it gives us a sense of strength, freedom, peace, and most of all, a deep feeling of joy at being alive
02.
Loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity are the four fundamental characteristics of love, and are each essential to feeling true love
03.
We must respect ourselves and believe that we are beautiful creatures, not only on the inside or on a spiritual level, but also physically: loving ourselves also means loving our body
04.
By practising our spirituality, we will no longer be afraid: we all possess a physical and spiritual body
05.
Listening is the basis of understanding; if we are too busy retaliating and arguing, we are unable to really listen, which can lead to conflict
06.
If a relationship does not bring us joy, it means that there is no real love there. We should be able to know what makes our partner happy, but also what causes them pain
07.
Metta is a kind of meditation that allows us to practise loving kindness, which is key to the flow of deep joy; this practice helps us get rid of everything negative that hinders our ability to love
08.
Quotes
09.
Take-home message
If we put a pinch of salt in a glass of water, it becomes undrinkable; but if we put the same amount of salt in a river, nothing changes, because the river is immense enough to receive and transform. By the same logic, if our heart is small and closed-off, its capacity for understanding and acceptance is also limited; if we know how to open our heart, however, we will discover a great reservoir of understanding and compassion within us. In order to truly understand this concept, we simply need to reflect on what happens in a relationship: in the beginning, our love typically extends to ourselves and the other person, but as time goes on, this love grows and begins to also include others. The moment this love stops growing, it dies, and the same is true for plants: it is crucial that we nourish this feeling constantly, so that it remains healthy and vibrant.
We can all learn the art of giving happiness and love: the important thing is to understand that, before anything else, we have to know how to nourish our own happiness, so that we can cultivate our ability to love. When we learn to love and understand ourselves, when we become capable of feeling true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love another person and give them the greatest gift of all: our understanding of their suffering.
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The author
Thich Nhat Hanh was born in 1926 and died in 2022. He was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, poet, and peace and human rights activist. He was ordained a monk at the age of 16, and became a teacher and social activist in Vietnam before he was exiled in 1969. Martin Luther King nominated him for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967. In 1982, he founded Plum Village in France, a Buddhist community that helps refugees, political prisoners, and poor families in Vietnam and around the world. He was an advocate of inner transformation through meditation, and published over 100 books, including the bestsellers The Miracle of Mindfulness and Peace is Every Step.
Edition
Publishing house:
Parallax
Year:
2014
Pages:
128
ISBN:
978-1937006884