Binary thinking is part of Western culture; it is used as a way to make sense of the world and to try to understand the complexity of life. René Descartes first discussed the distinction between body and mind in his dualism philosophy, but over time, this categorisation became a way for people to impose their own values on others, especially in the colonial era, and to justify the superiority of one group of people over another, or of humans over nature. By dividing the world into us and them, we began to dehumanise ourselves and other people, and to regard the world we live in as our property. This led to a progressive disintegration of the relationship with our innermost self, with others, and with the planet.
This may be the predominant worldview in the West, but it is certainly not the only one. Binary thinking is harmful when we talk about sexuality, because it causes bisexual people to become invisible and suggests that some sexual experiences are more ‘right’ or ‘normal’ than others; it is harmful when we talk about gender, because it supports and fuels discriminatory practices; and it is also detrimental to relationships, especially regarding monogamy versus non-monogamy and love versus friendship, because it favours one side over another.
Our perception of the body is also based on a binary division between the mind and body, emotional and rational, positive and negative, which causes unwarranted stress in people who do not conform to mainstream standards.
It is possible to overcome this polarising mindset, but it is not easy, because we are so used to seeing the world in this way and dividing everything into a binary pair. According to the authors, we have to be kind to ourselves, to pause at intervals throughout the day, whenever we register ourselves thinking in binary, to acknowledge how much the binary pattern is an inherent part of our thought processes, and to be patient, because reversing this pattern takes daily practice, over a long period of time.
It is also crucial that we embrace the complexity and chaos of the world. Journaling is a practical and useful way to start thinking in a non-binary way, as is slowing down at certain times of the day, taking time for walks, meditation, and creating daily rituals that inspire our creativity. Learning to be tolerant of ourselves and our imperfections is key to this process, because once we have achieved a state of self-awareness, we will no longer feel compelled to fit ourselves into a binary world. Nor will we do so with others.