Really listen in order to identify the true needs of the interlocutor
In a good negotiation, we start with every possible scenario in mind and we proceed by discarding each hypothesis thanks to every single piece of information we receive. It is a process of knowledge and attention. This is why many intelligent people aren’t good negotiators, they believe they don’t have anything to discover and that they can move forward while remaining consistent with their initial opinions, which often leads to mistakes. Great negotiators, however, are open to any possibility. They remain intellectually agile and aware of how to operate in a fluid situation. It is essential to know how to listen and fight the cognitive bias that gives weight to every clue we hear in order to seek consistency in what we think, instead of leaving room for the truth. We must also fight the impulse of listening to ourselves. During a verbal confrontation, we often think about what we are about to say instead of listening to the other person. In reality, we should only be focused on what our interlocutor is saying. This is called active listening and it is a fundamental tactic. The goal is to identify what your counterpart really needs (economically, but also emotionally) and make them feel safe. As a result, validating their emotions and creating an atmosphere of trust.
The key ideas of "Never Split the Difference"
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