Never Split the Difference
How to become an expert negotiator, and an economic one!
Never Split the Difference means: never accept compromises, because they are likely to be the worst solution for both parties. In his 24 years at the FBI, Chris Voss has learned the art of negotiating in the most difficult field, the one that sees human lives at stake. His experience has allowed him to develop techniques applicable to one’s private and professional life. Active listening, knowledge of others, empathy, use of the tone, analytical skills, are all examples of the tools you can use to master becoming an expert negotiator. Voss also teaches how to distinguish which negotiation style is best suited for different situations.
Many useful tips to:
- Learn how to negotiate in every context of your personal and professional life, using techniques developed in the field by an FBI agent specialized in hostage negotiations.
- Learn how to practice active listening in order to prevent and resolve conflicts in any interaction and relationship.
- Learn how to distinguish the different types of "yes" and understand when someone is lying.
Really listen in order to identify the true needs of the interlocutor
In a good negotiation, we start with every possible scenario in mind and we proceed by discarding each hypothesis thanks to every single piece of information we receive. It is a process of knowledge and attention. This is why many intelligent people aren’t good negotiators, they believe they don’t have anything to discover and that they can move forward while remaining consistent with their initial opinions, which often leads to mistakes. Great negotiators, however, are open to any possibility. They remain intellectually agile and aware of how to operate in a fluid situation. It is essential to know how to listen and fight the cognitive bias that gives weight to every clue we hear in order to seek consistency in what we think, instead of leaving room for the truth. We must also fight the impulse of listening to ourselves. During a verbal confrontation, we often think about what we are about to say instead of listening to the other person. In reality, we should only be focused on what our interlocutor is saying. This is called active listening and it is a fundamental tactic. The goal is to identify what your counterpart really needs (economically, but also emotionally) and make them feel safe. As a result, validating their emotions and creating an atmosphere of trust.
The key ideas of "Never Split the Difference"
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