How many times have we heard someone say “I blame the parents” when a young person gets into trouble? Political leaders and law enforcement officials blame parents for raising a generation of gang members, and when kids fail in school, or become hopeless dropouts, teachers and school administrators look to the parents to find fault. Yet who is helping the parents? Where can parents learn what they are doing wrong and what they might do differently? Each year, millions of new mothers and fathers take on an extremely challenging job for which they have absolutely no training: the job of raising a helpless little child into an adult who makes a positive contribution to society.
There is plenty of information available on the benefits of effective communication and the ways in which it can enhance the quality of our relationships, as well as helping resolve conflict. Unfortunately, these methods are very rarely applied to parenting, with one, striking exception. In 1962, Thomas Gordan introduced Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.), the first skill-based training program for parents. He taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a cafeteria in Pasadena, California, and then began training instructors throughout the U.S. to teach it in their communities. Over the years that followed, the course gradually spread to all fifty states.
The Gordon method, as it became known, can be applied to all interpersonal relationships, so, once they have learned it, many parents apply it at work, with their spouse, with other family members, and even with their neighbours. This method has helped many people establish healthy relationships in all areas of their lives.