17min
Parent Effectiveness Training is a book with a clear purpose: supporting parents in the responsibility of raising new citizens. Mutual respect, effective communication, and a spirit of collaboration—essential for the quality of human relationships—are skills typically required of managers. However, before Thomas Gordon addressed the topic, no one had structured a guide specifically designed for families.
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Analysis and key concepts
01.
Parents are often blamed, but not trained
02.
Establishing and maintaining effective relationships with one’s children means being deeply connected to them at all times, even when there is discord
03.
Effective parents aren’t perfect. They are authentic
04.
False acceptance of a child’s behaviour can undermine a parent’s credibility, which can mean a loss of trust and even a sense of inadequacy
05.
Why do many children reject their parents’ help? Why do so many children stop telling their parents about their troubles? Because the lines of communication have been shut down by mistrust
06.
Active listening is a way to show understanding and help parents develop awareness of the specific needs of their kids at any age
07.
Quotes
08.
Take-home message
How many times have we heard someone say “I blame the parents” when a young person gets into trouble? Political leaders and law enforcement officials blame parents for raising a generation of gang members, and when kids fail in school, or become hopeless dropouts, teachers and school administrators look to the parents to find fault. Yet who is helping the parents? Where can parents learn what they are doing wrong and what they might do differently? Each year, millions of new mothers and fathers take on an extremely challenging job for which they have absolutely no training: the job of raising a helpless little child into an adult who makes a positive contribution to society.
There is plenty of information available on the benefits of effective communication and the ways in which it can enhance the quality of our relationships, as well as helping resolve conflict. Unfortunately, these methods are very rarely applied to parenting, with one, striking exception. In 1962, Thomas Gordan introduced Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.), the first skill-based training program for parents. He taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a cafeteria in Pasadena, California, and then began training instructors throughout the U.S. to teach it in their communities. Over the years that followed, the course gradually spread to all fifty states.
The Gordon method, as it became known, can be applied to all interpersonal relationships, so, once they have learned it, many parents apply it at work, with their spouse, with other family members, and even with their neighbours. This method has helped many people establish healthy relationships in all areas of their lives.
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The author
American psychologist and educator, Thomas Gordon, was a pioneer in teaching communication skills and conflict resolution methods. He developed a model for building and maintaining relationships which came to be known as the Gordon Method. In the 1960s, he introduced Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.), the first skill-based training program for parents, and in 1970, he wrote the book Parent Effectiveness Training. As P.E.T became known among educators, many schools wanted their teachers to learn the same skills, so in 1974 Gordon wrote Teacher Effectiveness Training. Gordon’s training programs are now taught in schools and companies worldwide, his books have been published in 33 languages and have sold over 5 million copies to date. He was also nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize three times.
Edition
Publishing house:
Harmony
Year:
2000
Pages:
384
ISBN:
978-0609806937