Depending on the situation we find ourselves in, we are all able to play different roles and make different creative choices, thanks to our innate ability to develop different styles in order to adapt to changes. Unfortunately however, we have become used to associating certain situations with certain specific behaviours; we feel that they are the most appropriate ones and that there is no need to change them, and this can hinder our progress, for example, with regards to leadership.
As adults, when we are asked to do something that we have never done before, when we need to go beyond our existing capabilities, we are often afraid to try, so we stop ourselves and huge potential is wasted. When we step outside of our comfort zone and try something new, we put on a show as a sort of performance of “who we are” and “who we are not”.
Children are used to role playing as a way to express their imagination and they never feel the need to ask whether they were convincing in the role of Superman!
There is nothing right or wrong here: this is just the natural way in which we express our imagination, by being who we are and who we are not at the same time. The secret resides in the ability to play a role while maintaining our authenticity.
The concept of being who we are and who we are becoming at the same time is based on a study by the Soviet psychologist Lev Vygotsky, who analysed how important language was for the development of learning capability in children between 1920 and 1930. According to Vygotsky, as social animals we are forced to grow through our traditions, based on our environment, sex and the social and family setting in which we and other children in our community find ourselves. He said that we stop growing when we stop taking part in shows that encourage us to grow beyond our current situation. In other words, when we find ourselves repeating pre-established patterns and interpreting our roles passively, without going beyond the limits of any expectations.
We become experts at being who we are and we tend to steer clear of any behaviour that could make us uncomfortable, such as: making mistakes, trying new things and looking silly. This happens even more at work, where we are pushed to define ourselves, confining our character to an even smaller box, covered with labels that both classify and limit us.
