Jessica Fern




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Society has evolved and changed when it comes to the way we look at race, sexual inclination, and minority rights, but it is still very immature when it comes to understanding romantic relationships that do not refer to the traditional ideal. Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by JessicaFern is one of the first scientific texts to examine consensual non-monogamous relationships. This way of giving and receiving love, contrary to popular belief, requires commitment and dedication, and is only suitable for the secure and level-headed.

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Analysis and key concepts


According to attachment theory, we are all born with a strong predisposition to bond with those who care for us. This bond has repercussions on our brain development, cognitive abilities, and social life


People with a secure attachment style experience a healthy sense of self, and see themselves and their partners in a positive light. Their interpersonal experiences are based on the knowledge that they can ask for what they need


A traumatic event at a young age can negatively impact brain development. If an attachment figure is responsible for this trauma, it can be especially damaging


Societal change is making some progress, but it is still too slow when it comes to understanding non-monogamous relationships


The non-monogamous are becoming increasingly visible as a group, and the scientific approach towards understanding the dynamics of people engaged in multiple relationships has been enriched through increasingly accredited studies


Non-monogamy and the psychological theory of attachment: a relationship not yet fully explored that is showing unexpected results regarding the psychological maturity of non-monogamists




Take-home message

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Many useful tips to:

  • Fully understand the meaning of consensual non-monogamy.
  • Understand the link between a person’s attachment style and their relationship skills.
  • Find out what science is teaching us about polyamory.

Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist who specialises in the study of trauma and its influence on relationships. In her practice, which is open to an international clientele, Dr Fern works with individuals, couples, and people in multi-partner relationships. She aims to help them overcome cultural patterns and conditioning, but above all to help them process the effects of insecure attachment style and past traumas that get in the way of their ability to experience love to the fullest.

Publishing house:

Thornapple Pr