Let’s be honest, a lot of the reasons we admire someone can often be superficial. We only see their positive qualities, and tend to overlook the fact that they, like us, are human beings who feel lonely, tired and a whole spectrum of emotions that wash over us all when we least expect them. Behind the scenes, we all struggle with an array of psychological complexities that stem from the adversities we had to deal with as children and teenagers.
Psychologists tell us that there are certain conditions which cause a certain level of trauma that is impossible to ignore, the list of which is long and varied. One thing is for sure, however: they ultimately all turn out to share one thing in common: adverse events experienced before the age of twenty. These might include losing a parent through death or divorce or being insulted, belittled, humiliated by a parent or sibling; living with an alcoholic or drug addicted parent or a person with mental illness; being bullied or systematically beaten; being neglected or not having enough clothes or food to eat; being assaulted by a family member. About 75% of the population is exposed to such events, and psychologists are usually surprised to find that these are often the reason many people go on to become successful adults and develop particular characteristics that can be summed up in a single word: RESILIENCE.
The American Psychological Association defines resilience as the “ability to adapt and grow in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy or significant stressors.” Researchers find it unusual that despite the significant problems they have encountered, resilient people are able to progress and achieve success in life. However you choose to express it: being resilient means being able to make things go better than you might expect, escaping what seems to be an inevitable turn of fate.
There are many famous people who we might think of as resilient: Andre Agassi, who told his story in his autobiography, Barack Obama, artist Andy Warhol, and media queen Oprah Winfrey, to name just a few.
We might not typically think of the word resilient as sufficiently meaningful to describe these men and women and the trauma they have overcome. This is because we often use it to describe how someone bounces back from minor adversity. Describing the dynamics that made these individuals resilient in the true sense of the word, which is something akin to “supernormal” has helped countless others find inspiration to overcome their own struggles.
