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The 5 Love Languages of Children

Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell

The 5 Love Languages of Children

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21min

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We all have our own way of communicating and receiving love. Just as two people who speak different languages cannot understand each other, when we only tend to use and recognise specific expressions of love, it can create distance and lead to misunderstandings with our loved ones. Learning about the languages of love is particularly useful for parents who want to make sure that their children feel truly loved and that their emotional tank is always kept full, thereby helping them to grow into happy and balanced adults. The authors have identified five love languages, which are physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. Children naturally identify with one or more of these languages, and this essential guide helps us discover which of these resonate with our own child most deeply.

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Analysis and key concepts

01.

We all use five languages to express and receive love

02.

We instinctively provide physical touch to our children when they are younger, but we sometimes start to overlook this love language as they grow up

03.

Some children feel most loved when they hear words of affirmation and when affection is expressed very clearly

04.

Some children see quality time loved ones spend with them as the best expression of love

05.

We tend to think that gifts mainly appeal to little girls and women, but this is not necessarily the case, as many people see gifts as a heart-felt message

06.

Some people are willing to do anything for their loved-ones: if this sounds familiar, or if we appreciate this quality in other people, then acts of service may be our love language

07.

The authors provide some tips to help us identify the most suitable love language for our child or partner

08.

Communicating affection and feelings effectively using the 5 Love Languages helps children mature and develop in all areas of life

09.

Feeling loved enables children and teenagers to learn more effectively, and to deal with their anger in an appropriate manner

10.

Quotes

11.

Take-home message

01. We all use five languages to express and receive love

No matter how much we love our children, we still have to make sure that they know it, and this can sometimes be harder than we might think. According to the authors, we all have a kind of emotional tank, which needs to be filled with love, so that it can give us the fuel we need to get us through the challenges of everyday life. The security of parental love allows children to develop fully as they transition from childhood to adolescence.

Regardless of how we express our feelings, our emotional tank needs to be constantly replenished with unconditional love, the kind that requires nothing in return and that never dies. Even if our child’s behaviour may be challenging at times, we need to remind ourselves and our child that we love them for who they are, no matter what. The authors do not suggest that we spoil our children or reward bad behaviour, but that we constantly strive to replenish their emotional tank, so that they can overcome challenges, such as being told off or being punished, when necessary.

According to the authors, there are five different languages, which we all use to express our love. These love languages, which determine our behaviour and help us communicate effectively with our loved ones, are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to using these languages, and no one language is better than another; we just have to find the one that works best for us.

02. We instinctively provide physical touch to our children when they are younger, but we sometimes start to overlook this love language as they grow up

03. Some children feel most loved when they hear words of affirmation and when affection is expressed very clearly

04. Some children see quality time loved ones spend with them as the best expression of love

05. We tend to think that gifts mainly appeal to little girls and women, but this is not necessarily the case, as many people see gifts as a heart-felt message

06. Some people are willing to do anything for their loved-ones: if this sounds familiar, or if we appreciate this quality in other people, then acts of service may be our love language

07. The authors provide some tips to help us identify the most suitable love language for our child or partner

08. Communicating affection and feelings effectively using the 5 Love Languages helps children mature and develop in all areas of life

09. Feeling loved enables children and teenagers to learn more effectively, and to deal with their anger in an appropriate manner

10. Quotes

11. Take-home message

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Many useful tips to:

  • Discover your child’s love language.
  • Find effective ways of letting your child know you love them.
  • Explore fun ways to make your partner feel loved.
  • Recognise the ways in which you want to feel loved.

Gary Chapman is a relationship counsellor and spiritual leader for the religious community of Winston-Salem, a small town in South Carolina. He is one of the world's leading experts on human relationships. His book, The 5 Love Languages, was a New York Times bestseller, and has been translated into 38 languages. He regularly holds seminars and lectures all over the world on marriage, family, and relationships, and hosts several radio programmes. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Anthropology, a Master’s degree in Religious Education, and a Doctorate in Philosophy.

Ross Campbell was a long-time friend of Gary Chapman and an associate professor of paediatrics and psychiatry at the University of Tennessee College of Medicine. After retiring, he concentrated on his research studies into child-parent relationships. He passed away in 2012.

Publishing house:

Northfield

Year:

2016

Pages:

224

ISBN:

978-0802412850